Rage

I called the psychologist to arrange an appointment because I desperately needed help. I thought Sunday would be perfect, because anyway Mrs. Crenshaw had cancelled on me. The psychologist was doubting whether if giving me therapy on Sunday or having her free day, she stayed silent for a while.
During those seconds of silence my mind continued working, and my veins feeling all the rage flowing through them, my feelings were huge and also mixed.

I was trying to clear my mind; my ideas began to appear –calm down, control your self, Wong family and all the troubles can get you crazy- these ideas were gently flowing in my mind. I began to breathe deeply, my neurons and veins began to relax, and the motion inside my body flew slower, my blood, my thoughts, even my feelings.

I was recovering my mind completely from those tremendous and distressing feelings when the psychologist, who was also fighting with her mind to take a decision, answered me with these words “You will have your appointment for Sunday, but don’t be late and don’t you dare to cancel”. When I finally had my therapist answer I felt relieved, so I decided to clear my mind completely.

I left the supermarket without doing any shopping (anyway anything was so necessary) and also did it in a passive mood. By that moment anything can disturb me. I felt my body different and figured out as well that a smile was going to appear a minute later.

Everybody at the supermarket was surprised about the way I acted, nobody expected it: I knew my actions wouldn’t change other costumer’s lives but anyway I wasn’t expecting them to understand me.

That Sunday I had therapy and it changed my life, not immediately but I knew it’ll work. I’ve been in therapy since that day and now not only I’m capable to control and enjoy every emotion, but also to accomplish my work as I should (arriving on time, and else).

That day at the supermarket with all the goods and the “check out twerp” changed my existence in a constructive way.